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A NOT SO BELIEVABLE ... BUT TRUE CUCKOO STORY
If you read our biography titled "About Us", you will know that I once worked
for a large mechanical contracting firm. The branch manager had a birthday so
the office staff planned a party for him. Everyone knew that I repaired and sold
cuckoo clocks, so they asked me to get a cuckoo clock as a gift for him. This
was kind of a housewarming gift as well as his family had just moved into a new
home.
We presented him with the clock at the party and he really liked it. Several
weeks later, I asked him how he liked his new clock. His answer was kind of
vague and I could sense that something was wrong. I asked him again if it was
working ok. He told me that it worked for one day and stopped. He said that he
had tried several times to get it to work but it would only run for minutes at a
time.
Thinking that something might have happened to it in the shipping process, I
asked him to bring it to me and I would look at it.
I took the clock home, hung it on the wall and it ran perfectly for several
weeks. I had done nothing to it but hang it on the wall and start it. I gave it
back to him and told him that I had found absolutely nothing wrong with it. I
then asked the questions about heat registers, ceiling fans, drafts, etc. He
assured me that none of these problems existed. He took it home again. The next
time I saw him I again asked about the clock. Same answer, it only runs for a
little while. Again, I asked him to bring it to me. At this time our company
re-located him to the Omaha office and he would bring it to me after he was
settled in his new area.
Several weeks went by before I saw him again. We had a district luncheon so
again, I asked, "where’s the clock? He told me that He had hung it in his new
house and it ran perfectly since he put it up!
Here’s the kicker…….
He sold his other house to a friend who also had a cuckoo clock. His friend put
his clock on the same wall as did my boss. It would not run. He had had his
clock for many years and said that it never missed a beat for as long as he
owned it. He moved it to another wall and still it would only run for short
periods of time.
Go figure………………………
Dan
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WISH COME TRUE
I have always wanted a cuckoo clock. A big baroque job with all kinds of carved
foobahs, wheels that turn and guys that drink beer, and a little bird that comes
out and hollers an existential comment about being locked up in that tiny dark
hole most of the time. So I got one for my best friend who also happens to be my
wife. See, the way the deal works is that she usually doesn’t like what I get
her for her birthday anyway, and I usually end up with it so I figured I might
as well get her something I wanted in the first place, so when I get it back I
can truly be grateful.
She gets the thought and I get the gift. I know it’s wicked, but it always
works.
Anyway, I wanted an authentic antique cuckoo clock, but they cost a bundle and
this store had new ones, overstocked and at special pricing, so I plunked down
the cash. There were two messages written in small print on the carton.
“MADE IN GERMANY” and “SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED”.
The carton produced five plastic bags of miscellaneous parts and a Bavarian
alpine goat herd hut marked “genuine simulated wood”. To top it off a plastic
deer head that looked like Bambi’s mother. I put it all together with no parts
left over and hung it on the wall. I pulled up the weights, gave the pendulum a
shove and stepped back to watch the miracle I had just created, ticking away.
The hour struck, the little door opened but the bird did not appear. Deep from
its little hole came a muffled “cuckaa, cuckaa, cuckaa”. Three cuckaas, that’s
it? That’s all? But the hands on the clock said 12 o’clock!
I peered deep into the innards of the Bavarian alpine goat herd hut made of
simulated wood. Ah Ah, there was the bird. Using an ice pick and a chopstick, I
tried to pry the creature forward. It seemed loose. I reset the clock to three.
The clock ticked and tocked and all of a sudden the little door flung open but
still no bird. Out of the darkness came ����cuck���� but no “oo” not even an �������aa”.
Applying the principle of “if it won’t move, force it”, I resorted to a rubber
mallet and coat hanger, followed by vigorous shaking and reset the clock. The
next hour struck, the door opened but still no bird and… dead silence. Close
inspection revealed a small corpse with a spring around its neck, lying on its
side.
Not many people can say they have murdered a cuckoo bird but I had done it. I
could see the look on my wife’s face the next day when I say to her. Happy
Birthday dear, here is a cuckoo clock for you. The bird is dead!!
Dan